


A Plague Of The Mind

by teardrops_on_ghostly_wings



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Assumptions, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Body Dysphoria, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), Dinner, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Hand Jobs, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:13:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22460926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teardrops_on_ghostly_wings/pseuds/teardrops_on_ghostly_wings
Summary: Just when things are going up well for the husbands, the archangel fucking Gabriel has to stir things up and send Aziraphale spiraling into insecurity
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 151





	A Plague Of The Mind

Aziraphale flashes the waiter an angelic smile and hands him back their menus "I'll have the duck please dear and my husband will have the soup, bring whichever bottle of red wine is your best too"

As soon as the young man leaves the angel flashes Crowley a smile and chuckles softly "You really must stop letting me order for you darling, it's so hard to know what you want"

"I'll eat anything angel you know that, as long as it comes with something good enough to get me drunk not a lot else matters"

"For a demon you're not very good at the whole gluttony thing"

"You're good enough for both of us so it's ok"

Aziraphale shoots an annoyed look at Crowley but knows better than to deny it. Both of them enjoy a good meal, especially when it's together, but Aziraphale's always been the most gluttonous. It's one of the things Crowley's always loved about the angel because he's so different from every other angel or demon in the world.

They chat easily about Aziraphale's bookshop until their meals arrive then lapse into comfortable silence. While Aziraphale neatly spreads his napkin over his lap, Crowley shoots a look around the restaurant before picking up his soup bowl. In one breath he gulps all the soup down before putting the empty bowl back on the table and helping himself to a breadstick.

He's busy chewing on the bread so he misses the fondly exasperated look Aziraphale shoots him. Crowley has no table manners even though Aziraphale's tried to teach him to act civilised hundreds of times. At this point all the angel can do is perform little miracles to make sure no one noticed and let the demon act how he wants.

When Crowley looks back up at his angel Aziraphale's turned his attention back to his napkin. Once it's spread across his lap to protect his favourite pair of pants he selects a fork before daintily taking a mouthful of duck.

For the next hour Crowley sits with his chin on his hand, watching Aziraphale savour every bite of his meal. Having an excuse to stare at his angel for an hour is one of the best parts about eating together. Taking a stroll or going to see a play is always lovely but both are distinctly lacking in the ability to admire Aziraphale. Getting drunk together or having a meal has always been Crowley's personal favourite which Aziraphale seems to have picked up on.

Their eating habits are as different as they can get but suits them both very well. Everything Aziraphale does is done with careful thought and delicacy so it's only to be expected he eats the same way. Crowley's never been subtle or refined so slamming down a meal as fast as possible is very fitting, especially considering his past experience as a snake. Aziraphale managed to convince him that unhinging his jaw and swallowing an entire plate was overboard but failed in all other aspects.

When Aziraphale finally takes his last bite of his meal Crowley chuckles softly, watching the blissful look on his face with awe. He reaches across the table to link his fingers with the angel and draw his hand up for a kiss. Aziraphale's face softens even more as he watches his lover press feather light kisses across his knuckles.

Just as Aziraphale starts to lean across the table for a kiss, their waiter appears at the table. Crowley pouts and leans back but holds onto his lovers hand while Aziraphale hurriedly orders dessert.

As soon as they're alone again Aziraphale tugs Crowley into a kiss, cupping the demons cheek to hold him close. They exchange lazy kisses until Crowley's hand bumps a glass of wine, spilling it all over the table. Aziraphale pulls back with a fond look, holding his lovers hand tight while he snaps his fingers to miracle away the wine. Crowley pecks his lips again in thanks before they settle back to opposite sides of the table.

Crowley starts very unsubtly hinting at some new flowers he's growing to find out if Aziraphale likes them. After teasing a little Aziraphale promises he loves them and makes a mental note to prepare a vase for the inevitable bouquet he'll be getting.

When dessert arrives Aziraphale watches Crowley's face light up, pausing to watch his lover enjoy the food. Something they've always liked to joke about is that Crowley's loves angel food cake and Aziraphale loves devils food cake. They're both aware of how ironic it is but Aziraphale's always privately thought its not a surprise. Considering Aziraphale's true love is a demon and Crowley's is an angel, it's rather fitting their dessert choices reflect that.

Crowley takes a second to admire how pretty the cake is before inhaling the whole slice in two bites. While licking cream off his lips he looks up and meets eyes with Aziraphale which makes them both blush. The angels watching him intently, not even trying to disguise the way he's ogling Crowley's lips.

Loving the attention, Crowley slowly licks his lips then pushes Aziraphale's dessert closer to him. The angel reluctantly takes one last glance at Crowley before starting to slowly work his way through his own food.

As always Crowley watches every movement, trying to keep his mind out of the gutter but epically failing. Ever since he agreed to indulge Aziraphale's food kink a few weeks ago it's almost impossible not to have dirty thoughts. Watching the angel lick various foods off his chest has made it certain Crowley will never be able to safely get through a meal again.

After dessert they linger over their wine for a little too long before Crowley drives them back to the bookshop. Again they spend a little too long against the bookshop door as Crowley kisses the taste of chocolate off his angels mouth before finally parting.

Aziraphale enters his bookshop feeling very content with life which quickly drops away when he sees an unwelcome visitor.

Gabriel stands by the counter, lazily flicking through a first edition Wilde in a way that makes Aziraphale cringe. It's a position he's seen Crowley in countless times but instead of making him feel at home it puts him on guard. Seeing the archangel is never a good thing so Aziraphale doubts today is going to be any different.

When Gabriel sees he's no longer alone he drops the book in a way that makes Aziraphale flinch then plasters on a fake smile "Ah there's my favourite Heavenly traitor"

It's been years since they ruined Gabriel's nice little war with Hell but things are still very tense. After realising Aziraphale can't be executed there's been no more assassination attempts but Gabriel still turns up in the worst moments. Neither of them want to antagonise the other so they've settled back into an awkward working relationship again, to Crowley's displeasure.

After the whole debacle Beelzebub only showed up to see Crowley once. They ended up having a screaming match in the middle of Aziraphale's bookshop before the Prince of Hell stormed off and never came back. Crowley's relationship with Hell has always been shaky at best - Beelzebub giving him free reign because they didn't care enough to monitor him. While drunk one night Crowley even admitted Hell is probably glad to be free of him so they won't bother him again.

Unsurprisingly Gabriel doesn't have this same mindset so Aziraphale didn't escape so easily. The archangel has always been annoying and overbearing so even while Heaven is terrified of Aziraphale, he can't take the hint and leave. Every time Gabriel wants something silly to be done he comes to Aziraphale as always and talks him into it. They're both too polite and passive aggressive to be openly rude to each other so they're stuck in place. Privately Aziraphale wishes they could be a little more like Crowley and Beelzebub because he's sick of living like this.

Trying to hide his annoyance Aziraphale sets about making tea and tries to ignore the sounds of Gabriel in his shop. After getting hit over the head with a bible in the 18th century, Crowley learnt to respect Aziraphale's books but Gabriel does nothing of the sort.

When Aziraphale gets back he's pleased to see there's no obvious damage to his books so he shoves a teacup in Gabriel's hand. The archangel prides himself on not consuming human matter so Aziraphale enjoys trying to guilt him into it. Gabriel's need to remain outwardly polite is something very satisfying to abuse.

One night Crowley also let slip that Beelzebub swears up and down that they saw Gabriel have a sip of wine once. It's nothing more than a local legend in Hell but Crowley was more than happy to share the tidbit of gossip. Aziraphale found it fascinating so has tried to use it to his advantage ever since, to very little success unfortunately.

Smugly he sits down in his favourite armchair and sips his tea, watching Gabriel cringe and look at the cup in disgust. Eventually the archangel puts the cup down pointedly and makes an annoyed sound "So I saw you're still fraternising with that Hell spawn, we were hoping you'd have seen reason by now"

"Not going to happen, Crowley's my soulmate and I intend to spend eternity with him"

"You would choose to further sully your celestial temple with a demon's love rather than returning to Heaven?"

"Without a doubt, would you like more tea?"

Aziraphale quickly walks off to get more tea and compose himself. He was very close to violence when Gabriel started insulting Crowley so he needs a minute to regain his composure before he does something drastic.

All Aziraphale wants is to call Crowley and have a lovely hour long chat with his lover but first he has to get rid of Gabriel. As soon as he's gone the angel plans to call his demon and hopefully convince him to go out for another meal. Usually they limit themselves to one outing a day but after this Aziraphale thinks he deserves another.

After another few minutes of passive aggressive comments from both angels Gabriel finally gets to the point. He refuses yet another cup of tea before admitting why he's here "We have a job for you Aziraphale. There's been excess activity in the United States of America lately and we want you to check it out. Take a month to look around and spread some angelic influence, preferably without your little demon toy causing anymore trouble"

It's the last thing Aziraphale wants to do but there doesn't seem to be another way. If he refuses Gabriel will undoubtably keep hanging around until he agrees so there's no point prolonging the inevitable.

Gabriel looks very smug when Aziraphale agrees then makes his goodbye's hastily. As he goes to walk out the door he looks back with yet another disapproving expression "If you'll heed some advice from your superiors, while you're there I suggest you lay off the human matter. You're already a disgrace of an angel so there's no need to also look like a failure. Heaven is very exasperated with it and I doubt the demon enjoys your corporation looking like that either"

In a pop of smoke Gabriel's gone but his words stay in Aziraphale's head much longer. The jabs at his many failings are nothing new but it hits differently this time, quite possibly because of Crowley being brought into it.

Aziraphale should easily write it off as a load of bollocks and make the call asking his lover to dinner but something stops him. Angels aren't made to feel self conscious or insecure but they also aren't made to possess gluttony or lust, both of which Aziraphale has in excess.

Crowley's never complained about how Aziraphale's corporation but he also didn't complain about 6000 years of mutual pining. It hurts Aziraphale deeper than he ever imagined to think that maybe he isn't fully satisfying his husband. They've never gone to bed together and ended it in anything but rapture but maybe he could be doing more.

The more he thinks about it the more Aziraphale spirals into self hatred.

Over the years he's had his fair share of dalliances as well as spying on many of Crowley's. It's no secret that Crowley acts tough but is soft and desperate for love at heart. In bed he's always been a generous lover but Aziraphale's seen him dominated and controlled in many a fling with a human.

In their relationship Aziraphale's always been a pillow princess, revelling in the pleasure his lover so effortlessly gives him. Crowley's always seemed more than happy to top and obey Aziraphale's every command but he must want more. Even with a love as great as theirs, you can only have boring missionary sex so many times before your eyes start to wander. For Crowley, the most imaginative and emotional demon to ever live, their sex life must be painfully dull. Someone as unattractive and vanilla as Aziraphale could never hold the attention of someone beautiful and vibrant like Crowley for long.

Aziraphale isn't blind to the way the world sees Crowley, he sees it himself most of the time. With his bright red hair, long thin limbs and swaggering confidence Crowley's everything a human could fantasise about. In comparison Aziraphale's nothing but a frumpy, prissy bookseller that no one could feel more than vague platonic affection for. Aziraphale's seen the way people look at them in public but he's never cared about their opinion up until this moment.

In desperation he searches back in their relationship, grasping for something to convince him otherwise. There must be something to prove that all the doubts put in his head by Gabriel are nothing but hot air, to prove he's enough for Crowley.

All at once memories crash down on him as he covers his mouth in horror. The only vaguely interesting or kinky thing he's ever asked his lover for was to indulge his food kink. Crowley spent more than an hour reclined on his bed letting Aziraphale lick all his favourite treats off the demons body before going down on him. At the time it seemed perfect but Aziraphale can only remember the memories in disgust. Out of everything he could have chosen of course he chose the one thing that would make him seem less attractive than more boring missionary. He chose to stuff his face in front of his flawless lover and all poor Crowley got in return was a lacklustre orgasm.

Lately their relationship has turned into nothing more than dinner dates and boring sex. Everything they do is for Aziraphale's pleasure with Crowley never asking for a single thing in return. Crowley's the most amazing lover anyone could ask for so he deserves much much more than he's getting from Aziraphale.

Feeling like a greedy, selfish bastard Aziraphale slowly walks through his bookshop, up to the flat above. He doesn't need to pack so he settles for writing a note for Crowley telling the demon where he is before he miracles himself to America.

Europe has always been his preferred area but America is usually pleasant. There's a lot of drama across the continent but many wonderful things originate here so Aziraphale can't complain too much.

For three weeks Aziraphale does the blessings and smoothes things over as expected while also trying to learn. There's no shortage of ridiculous health magazines with ridiculous claims but Aziraphale reads them all. He's not quite ready to go on a juice cleanse or join a sweat lodge but to a degree the magazines help.

Over the weeks Aziraphale tries to cut back on food, only eating one meal a day and resisting the endless treats. America is quite possibly the worst country to be in while dieting but allows him to exercise extreme restraint. It would be easy to cave and eat a donut or enjoy some curly fries but he keeps thinking about his goals. A donut might make him momentarily happy but loosing weight will ensure his relationship with Crowley stays strong. Fries might make a blessing feel like less of a chore but getting to spend eternity with his true love is the most important thing.

It's not a fun three weeks but in a brutal way they're satisfying. Every free moment allows Aziraphale to think about Crowley and fantasise about how lovely things will be. When he gets home they can go to dinner and Aziraphale will woo his husband with his newfound restraint. They'll go somewhere nice where Aziraphale will order the smallest meal instead of the biggest then offer to share a dessert with the demon. Crowley will be amazed at how Aziraphale has changed then they can go home and spend all night in bed. Aziraphale will show off how loving and generous he can be and Crowley will learn to love him more than ever before.

The thoughts are so pleasant that Aziraphale returns home in a wonderful mood. He only lost 15 pounds to his disappointment but it's a really good start. He'll keep loosing weight at home and until he has a better body he'll make Crowley happy in other ways. One day soon he'll be the slim attractive husband Crowley deserves but until then he'll do everything possible to please his lover.

Walking through the door of his bookshop puts a smile on Aziraphale's face which only gets wider when he sees Crowley. The demons reclined on the backroom couch in the bookshop with his eyes closed, looking every inch a model.

Aziraphale watches him with awe as he bustles into the room and hangs up his coat. Crowley lazily opens an eye when he hears him and a smile spreads across his face "Angel you're home, bloody fuck I've missed you"

Feeling even happier than before Aziraphale makes his way over to his lover and notices something interesting. He didn't notice at first, too distracted by how beautiful Crowley is, but the demons got a hand down his pants. Crowley watches with heavy eyes as his angel comes over to press a long kiss to his lips then climbs into his lap.

Having Aziraphale on top of him is always a joy so Crowley grins widely and lets himself be taken care of. Soft careful fingers slip into his pants, pushing his own hand out of the way and wrapping around his dick.

With slow precise strokes Aziraphale brings Crowley closer and closer to the edge while also pressing kisses to his neck. Crowley's always been the one obsessed with love bites and marks so feeling his angel nibble all his sensitive spots feels glorious.

When Crowley cums it's with a loud grunt and shaking hands cupping his lovers head close. Aziraphale works him through the aftershocks before removing his hand and licking up every drop.

Eagerly Crowley pulls his lover into a kiss but Aziraphale soon has an uncomfortable thought. Being on top of Crowley has always been lovely but now he's painfully aware of his weight. He didn't loose nearly as much as he hoped so this was supposed to distract Crowley from that, not make it more obvious.

Feeling disgusted with himself Aziraphale crawls off Crowley and settles himself at the other end of the couch. Crowley looks confused but drags himself up to crawl into Aziraphale's lap, pressing his face to his lovers shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent. Again strong hands cradle his body, holding him close and making him feel at home.

After a long cuddle Crowley pulls back and cups his husbands cheek "I missed you so much Zira, you didn't even tell me you were leaving"

"I'm sorry my dear, Gabriel gave me the job so I wanted to get it over with as soon as I could"

"Next time come see me, I'll come with you or at least kiss you goodbye, I was so lonely without you"

After an orgasm Crowley always gets painfully open and honest, saying things he usually only says while drunk. It's something he used to get embarrassed by but they've both gotten used to it lately and enjoy the bursts of candour.

"Oh Crowley darling I'm sorry, I was thoughtless and I'll do better next time"

"Thank you angel, I hate spending time without you"

"Me too dear boy, every second without you feels empty"

Crowley lets out a happy little hiss and wraps himself further around Aziraphale, channeling his previous snake form. Any significant period of time apart drives him crazy and makes him desperate for touch. Crowley doesn't know how he survived so many millennia without free reign to touch the angel. Now that he's had a taste of Aziraphale's undivided love and affection nothing could ever live up to it.

They cuddle until Crowley hears Aziraphale's stomach growl and giggles softly. He runs his long thin fingers over the angels stomach and whispers "That seems like a sign we should head out to dinner, I found a nice Mediterranean place while you were gone"

That sounds like an amazing night but Aziraphale quickly controls himself "I... I think it would be best if we didn't"

A flash of hurt crosses Crowley's face but he pushes it back quickly. Aziraphale has a right to reject him, especially after Crowley intruded on his space so rudely. The angel probably wanted alone time after three stressful weeks but Crowley took that from him.

Feeling very guilty Crowley climbs off Aziraphale and stares intently at his feet "Sorry angel I wasn't thinking, I'll go home and leave you, call me whenever you want"

Crowley's about to slither out and take a nice long nap out of shame but Aziraphale jumps up before he can "Please don't leave my dear, what did I do wrong? I'm trying to be good for you"

"I thought you didn't want me here"

"I always want you, you're all I want"

"But you said no to dinner"

"I'm not hungry but I want to spend time here with you my love"

That soothes Crowley slightly but also greatly concerns him. In all the years he's known Aziraphale the angels never turned down a good meal so this feels wrong on many levels.

When he notices the worry in Crowley's eyes Aziraphale cringes and reaches for his lovers hands "It's ok darling, I'm trying something new, nothing to worry your pretty head over"

"Something new that involves not eating with me?"

Explaining the whole thing to Crowley would be so stupid but the demon knows him much too well. When Crowley gets an idea in his head he has a tendency to overreact, similar to how Aziraphale acted to Gabriel's criticism. Two overdramatic hasty idiots in a relationship can be messy but so far it's gone nicely.

With Crowley's worried eyes on him Aziraphale shuffles his feet and plays with his lovers hand "I'm trying to be better for you darling, it's really nothing big"

"Better for me? You're already the most amazing person to ever exist, how could you be better?"

"Well... As you surely know I'm not attractive and have too much extra fat on my corporation so I'm trying to fix it. I know that will make you happy so I'll be a better husband and can please you more"

As Aziraphale talks Crowley's express gets more and more incredulous. He's starting to wonder if Gabriel stole his angel and left a weird clone of him behind because this all feels so wrong. Aziraphale's never talked like this before and it concerns Crowley to no end at what must have happened to him in the last few weeks. If the angel had been in London he would have instantly shut this train of thought down but instead it's been left to fester for much too long.

With the softest voice he can manage Crowley murmurs "Angel... Angel you do know that's not how corporations work right?"

"Excuse me dear?"

"That's not how it works, we're not human so we can't loose weight or change ourselves in human ways. I spent almost 4000 years not eating before we were friends and my body didn't react the way a humans would. Did you really not know we can change our corporations at will? What did you think I did every time I presented as female? What did you think we did when we literally swapped bodies?"

Aziraphale's mouth opens and closes a couple of times while he tries to process that information. Over the years of their friendship he'd gotten so used to being the intelligent one that he'd forgotten how intelligent Crowley could also be. Aziraphale had a ridiculous lapse in judgment but Crowley's good at bringing him back to reality, always has been.

When the angel shoots him a helpless look Crowley gathers him in his arms and rubs his back "Oh you silly bugger, I can't believe you forgot you're an angel"

"I'm sorry my darling, I was trying to be good for you"

"We've been together long enough that you should know I already think you're perfect. I've loved you for 6000 years and I intend to love you for another 6000, nothing will change that. After spending so much time together you can't honestly think I care about your corporation"

"I know you never have but now we're in a relationship. I didn't think you'd want to stay with someone unattractive and overweight and boring in bed so I tried to change"

Crowley looks like he's very close to smacking Aziraphale for the pure idiocy coming out of his mouth. Insecurity has never been attractive to him and especially isn't attractive on Aziraphale. The angels always been the self assured one in contrast to Crowley being a walking disaster so the roles being reversed feels weird.

Pulling in his anger Crowley cups his lovers face and gives him a glare "You never have been and never will be ugly or fat, don't talk like that you stupid man. I helped make the stars so I can assure you there's nothing in the universe that could ever compare to your beauty. I love you with every inch of myself and will for every second I live. Your corporation is nothing but a vessel for me to channel my love into, what it looks like is meaningless"

With a heavy heart Aziraphale leans in to press a frantic kiss to Crowley's lips then laughs helplessly "Goodness me I'm a silly bastard sometimes aren't I?"

"The silliest but I love you unconditionally regardless, does that help your insecurities?"

"Oh don't say it like that dear, you make me sound like a child but I suppose I have been acting like one"

"You have but that's finished now. Listen here, we're going to go to your bedroom so I can kiss every inch of your skin and tell you all the reasons I love you all night. After we've sorted our your issues with your appearance were going to have another long chat about what exactly you mean by boring in bed"

Aziraphale's face gets hot again remembering saying such a vulgar thing but is powerless to resist Crowley leading him upstairs.


End file.
